On June 7, 2014 my new bride Penny and I spoke our devotion and vows to one another. It being my second marriage (hers too) I concentrated more thoughtfully and deeply on those vows than I ever had before. Each word spoken by the pastor, her and myself was seared onto my mind. This is the last time I plan on doing this and I wanted to get it right!
While our marriage is a covenant relationship with God and each other, we both knew this marriage would be different because of the children from our previous marriages. Because of hurts and disappointments, none of which were of their doing, we felt that it was necessary to let each of our children know the depth of our devotion; not only to each other, but to each of them.
"Today we have not only joined one another in marriage but we have joined our respective families as well. With that in mind, we would like to symbolize the blending of our two families.
Kristin, Jessica and Brian I will continue to be available to you and to love you unconditionally. You have been and will always be part of making me who I am everyday. You are not only my children, you are my life-long friends.
Margaret, Mary and Wesley, I welcome you to my family. I promise to be fair and to be honest, to be available to you, and in due time, to earn your love, respect and true friendship. I will not attempt to replace anyone, but to make a place in your hearts that is for me alone."
Then my new bride, Penny, spoke the same words and added comments about the tree of life and the grafting in of branches. At that, we presented each of them with a necklace with the Tree of Life to symbolize the grafting of our family tree.
I feel great emotion a year later as I remember that special moment. Later, back at the house, each member of this new family took turns pouring sand into a vase to further represent the blending of both families. It is to remind us each time we look at it that we are all in this together.
The first year has flown by. There are often times when I don't feel the sense of unity that the vase signifies. It is not always easy to look at one another's biological child as our own. There is still mine and yours and not enough ours. But we work on it. We talk and pray about it. It is not something that happens instantly overnight. However, the words, the pledge, the vow to our children are as serious as it was the day we made it.
In the past year, we have experienced with/for our kids: one daughter's wedding, another's engagement, a few trips to the ER, worry, rejoicing. rebellion, laughter, frustration, pride and lots and lots of prayer. Yep, we are a typical family!
So why the title of this particular blog? It is based on a story about a church potluck dinner. The story has many different versions but here is mine:
Every time after the main dishes were being cleared away at a church potluck dinner one of the gentlemen urged everyone to "Keep your fork; the best is yet to come." He was referring, of course, to dessert. He was consistent with this statement each and every time the church gathered to share a meal together. "Keep your fork; the best is yet to come."
One day the gentlemen passed away and as his friends and family gathered to pay their condolences at the funeral home a lady looked down at his body in the coffin. There in the breast pocket of his burial suit was a fork. The lady turned to his son and ask the reason for the fork. The son's face broke into a smile. "You remember all those potluck dinners? You see, Dad knew that death was not the end and the fork is to remind us that 'the best is yet to come.'"
You may find that story sappy and that is okay. But as I look back over the past year I know I want to hold on to my fork...Happy Anniversary Penny....the best is yet to come!
Thanks for reading!
Jeff
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